Hey everyone! I know it has been a while since I last wrote. But I thought I would write a blog to close out 2022. I don't normally do things like this. Especially depending on the kind of year I have had. I don't sit and reflect on it. Looking back at 2022, I went through quite a bit. I feel like I went through all of the emotions this year. The happy, the sad, the bitter, the angry, the disappointment, the heartbreak, the depressed, and the anxious. You name it, I probably felt it. But despite it all, I kept going. I grew in ways that I didn't think I could. I put myself out there in ways that I never thought I would. I put my photography on Instagram more, I joined a couple photography groups/communities on Facebook, I really focused on learning and developing my photography skills, and I created a blog. I shared things here that I never once thought I would share. I made deep thoughts and secrets that I have never told anyone, known.
When 2022 started, I was already feeling disappointed, angry, and bitter. Wondering why I wasn't being shown support for my endeavors from people that I felt should have been showing it. And that carried on for a bit into the year. Then I realized that I needed to let that go. It was consuming me and getting the best of me. It may not have been fair to me that this was going on. But I needed to accept it for what it was, let it go, and move on. Meanwhile I created my blog. I was having fun going through my photos and writing about them. Remembering what happened to bring that photo to fruition. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed sharing them.
Then midway through the year, I felt heartbreak, and this wouldn't be the first time this year but for different reasons. The second I'll get to later. We lost our dog, our sweet boy, Chase. He had the purest love and the sweetest soul. He was the calming influence amongst the chaos. Chase enjoyed being outside. With you and without you. If you went to sit outside, he was right there with you and with a toy as well. I'm going to stop there before I start crying. I'll love him forever and miss him always.
A few weeks later, we brought home our puppy, Cooper. Boy, is he a handful. He also enjoys being outside. He loves sitting in the patio chairs and watching the birds and the rabbits go through our yard. I love his curiosity and wonder at it all. It reminds me to look at life the same way.
At the end of June, I created a photobook with a printing company and wrote my first ever review. Creating the book and writing the review was pretty fun for me to do. It was something different for my blog and the experience was great. The photobook is beautiful and holds up quite well.
The second half of this year, I'll admit, I struggled mentally. For reasons I am not going to get into here, I longed for what used to be and didn't care for what was ahead. I was building and harboring resentment. I am not going to say against who and about what. That is a personal matter. What I was trying to build was pushed to the back burner. I was failing to work on my dreams. Personal deadlines came and went without anything done. I was mentally suffering, and my work was suffering. I was burnt out and on the verge of exploding so to speak. I do feel that I am getting better. But I still feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is a bit off in the distance. If that makes sense.
In November, I submitted my photography for a chance to be a part of a printing company's showcase at upcoming tradeshows in 2023. They expressed interest in a couple of them but ultimately ended up not going forward with my images. I went from pure excitement to heartbreak in a week. I was bummed out and sad. May have even shed a tear or two. But in that moment of rejection, I realized just how much I wanted this opportunity. I wanted something that not only my family would have something to be proud of me with, but for myself as well. I haven't exactly done a whole lot to be proud of. But you know what? I submitted what I thought were my ten best photos and TWO were considered. TWO! That is a BIG DEAL! Especially for someone that is painfully shy and anxious like me. I wouldn't have done that five years ago. Not even two years ago. And that IS something to be proud of.
I just wasn't into the holidays at all this year. Yes, because of the headspace I was in but also other reasons. It just didn't feel the same to me this year. Our first holiday without Chase. Family get togethers don't feel the same. One person here, another person there. No one all together in one place anymore. It's been that way the past few years. We don't even celebrate birthdays together anymore. This year my sister was making her own plans with her boyfriend and rightfully so. We met her boyfriend on Christmas Eve. He was really nice. Then she left and we spent our first Christmas apart. I don't know. I seem to have just lost the magic in the holidays lately. This year especially. Maybe next year I'll have it back.
Despite my challenges this year, I am proud of what I did accomplish. So that leads me to right here, right now. Writing this blog on the eve of New Year's Eve. Not going to lie, I didn't realize today was the 30th and totally thought I had a little more time to get this done. So, what exactly are my hopes for 2023? Build on what I did accomplish this year. Continue working on myself and my businesses. (If you're confused, you did read that right. I said businesses. I co-own a handmade home goods business. you can check that out at www.elizabethsdesignroom.com. Hoping to have more things up soon so don't let the inventory discourage you and please keep checking back.) Work on letting more things go. Improve my photography skills and other creative skills. That is all I have for myself. I hope everyone is safe this New Year's Eve if you're going out. I'll be at home. New Year's Eve was never my thing. I wish you all a great 2023 and may it be filled with happiness. And may you overcome any obstacles you face. See you next year.
Go after your dreams. Whatever they may be.
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